Sticks and Stones...

Do you remember your childhood days, having fun, playing games with your friends, and then all-of-a-sudden... someone's feelings are hurt? Something is said or done and is taken offensively, even if it was an accident or an unintended word. We would often hear the declaration that, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me". Well, now that you are an adult and have have many hurtful experiences since then, you know that to be not so true. Words Do Hurt!


Tuesdays are the days we attempt to post articles, stories, and encouragement for our couples. Most times it seems that it mainly supports the women, (but we try and keep things even). Sooooo.... today I want to drop a little nugget, word of wisdom, input from the oracle to help women when it comes to the man in their lives.

This is a very simple, but powerful act. Are you ready ladies? Well, here goes. When you are making a request from a man, do your best to use "W"s instead of "C"s.

Of course you are saying, "WHAT!" "What in the world are they talking about?" "This is idiotic!" "You can't do better than that Mr.?" Just give me a minute to explain.

When you ask a question like, "Can you please take out the trash?" even though you added the secret password, "please" to your very valid request, there is a negative ringtone that goes off in his head. "Honey, could you please remember to pick up your clothes off the floor?" Even this sounds harmless to the female ear. And of course you are being as nice as you can be; calmly restraining yourself, to keep from catching a case and sending him in the ER. Once again, this is a blaring, screeching, fingers on the blackboard, annoying sound in a man's ear.

OK, let me explain why. When you use "C" words with a man, "Can you" or "Could you", it actually sounds to him as if you are questioning him ability, his capability, his aptitude to understand the task at hand. So much so that his ego completely shuts out the valid requests you are making, and prepares him to fight for his manhood. "C"s to a man, sound hard and harsh, like C...C...Cut, C...C...Castrate, C...C...Can't get it up!, C.....C..... Can you understand the words that are Coming out of my mouth!

On the other hand, "W"s, such as "will you", or "would you", sounds much less threatening or offensive to him. He is able to drop his guard, put away his ego and receive your request, because it sounds more like you need him and you are depending on him to get a job done. It seems silly, it seems insignificant, but if you don't believe me, ask him if it matters to him. Ask your man, if I'm right. Then share this word of wisdom with another woman in your life.

Determine to become your spouse's biggest fan and reject any thoughts of jealousy. Set your heart on your spouse and focus on their acheivements.

Pray for His Relationships

Every married couple should have at least two strong believing couples with whom they can share encouragement, strength, and the richness of their lives. Being around such people is edifying, enriching, balancing, and fulfilling, and it helps us keep perspective when things seem to grow out of proportion. Having the positive qualities of other people rub off on us is the best thing for a marriage.

Pray for her Health and Safety

We can never take the safety of our loved ones for granted. Accidents happen suddenly and when we least expect them. It will give your wife the greatest comfort to know you are praying for her safety. It's also important to pray for your wife to have good physical health. Taking care of her body is not easy for a woman. Health decisions and body care can be complicated and confusing. But your prayers will have a positive effect on your wife's ability to hear God about what is right for her.

Marriage Magnets

Look at your marriage relationship like two magnets. When you were dating, you were attracted to your mate because of the thinkgs about them that we opposite of you. The more you try and make them just like you, the less you are attracted to them, and now you lose interest. Go figure...

The Power of a Woman

by Barbara Rainey

I have come out to meet you, to seek your presence earnestly, and I have found you. I have spread my couch with coverings, with colored linens of Egypt.

Proverbs 7:15-16

Few things are more abhorrent to me than seeing women make sexual advances toward married men, either on television or in real life. We should recoil at this kind of behavior. But just because flirtation is often corrupt doesn't mean there's anything wrong with making sexual advances toward one married man -- the one you're already married to.

I believe we can learn something from the powerful woman described in Proverbs 5–7. Although she is an adulteress and would not typically be seen as a positive role model, perhaps there is a pure use of this power when these tactics are directed toward a woman's own husband. For example:

Her lips "drip honey" and are "smoother than oil" (Proverbs 5:3). There was a time during the dating season when gentle, soothing speech came easily. But now in marriage, it's all too easy to gripe and complain. Words are powerful. Use yours well, and you'll melt him like butter.



"She seizes him and kisses him" (Proverbs 7:13). What would be the look on your man's face if, when you first saw him at the end of a day, you grabbed him around the shoulders and really planted one on him? There's not a man alive who wouldn't wonder what you'd had for lunch that day -- and who wouldn't hope you'll have it again tomorrow.



She captures him "with her eyelids" (Proverbs 6:25). We wives can tend to get sloppy with our appearance around the house. That's understandable. But every once in a while, make sure you look good when he comes home. Really good. Use your eyes to engage him. "Capture" him with your physical attractiveness.



A wife who understands her allure as a woman is protecting her husband from temptation. She's like a magnet, drawing him home from the seductions of his day.

She's got power. And she knows how to use it.

Discuss

Wives, find out from your man what would really make his day.

Pray

Pray that God will never let Satan, who knows how to twist it, steal the joy of sexual attraction and romance from you.

Wives:

If your husband is going through a difficult time, carry it in prayer, but don't carry the burden. Even though you may want to, don't try to take away his load and make it yours. That will ultimately leave him feeling weak or like a failure. Besides, God doesn't want you doing His job.

Husbands:

Have you ever seen your wife suffering, but you don't know what to do about it? Some men become impatient with that. Others feel so at a loss or overwhelmed by it that it causes them to withdraw. If you recognize that happening to you ask God to give you a heart of compassion.

Love is Not Rude:

Ask your spouse to tell you three things that cause him or her to be uncomfortable or irritated with you. You must do so without attacking them or justifying your behavior. This is completely their own opinion and from their perspective only.

Love is Patient

"Love is built on two pillars that best define what it is. Those pillars are patience and kindness. All other characteristics of love are extensions of these two attributes."

"It is a choice to control your emotions rather than allowing your emotions to control you, and shows discretion instead of returning evil for evil."

"Anger is usually caused when the strong desire for something is mixed with disappointment or grief. It is often an emotional reaction that flows out of our own selfishness, foolishness, or evil motives."

"Patience is where love meets wisdom. And every marriage needs that combination to stay healthy. Patience helps you give your spouse permission to be human. Few of us do patience well, and none of us do it naturally."

~The Love Dare, Day 1